In Prescott, Arizona goats have been eating their way through central State deserts as part of a State-sponsored fire prevention effort.

In Southern California, fires have been a major problem recently. A recent firing at Jenny Craig resulted in a cow eating her way through the Hollywood Hills. Eyewitnesses identified the woman as Kirstie Alley.

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92 year old actor Kirk Douglas has embraced social networking by opening his own myspace page. In Los Angeles, a 65 year old women filed a complaint against KIRK1918 stating "a creepy old man was stalking her".

The Los Angeles judge, however, dismissed the complaint after ruling that myspace is so over, everybody is on Facebook now.

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In Kentucky, a JUDGE has PLEADED GUILTY to federal charges that he used a computer to entice a minor to engage in sexual activity after chatting online with an undercover officer posing as a teenager.

Said the Judge: "I'm just so glad it was the F.B.I. and not Dateline: To Catch a Predator."

Labels: topical jokes, two-liners