EXT. BUSH BLAMES GLOBAL CONSPIRACY FOR RECESSION - TWILIGHT
In an unprecedented display of candor, President Bush today claimed that the recession was the result of a global conspiracy masterminded by his father and the industrial-military complex and that he had "been tapped" as a token figurehead to first destroy, then rescue, the economy. He claimed his puppet administration ran into trouble when Cheney accidentally shredded the secret plan to rescue the economy while performing routine office duties such as destroying evidence of illegal wiretapping and falsifying charges against innocent Muslim-Americans who are now serving time for their country at Guantanamo Bay.
The President further claimed the backup copy
of the secret plan had been stored on a NIKON flash memory card that he accidentally erased while taking BFF snapshots with Cheney "clownin' around" in the Oval Office. "We lost the plan to save the economy from collapse but got a great photo of Dick pretending to launch a nuclear arsenal against Ottawa, Canada," he said, "I wanted something memorable from my Presidency to pass along to my kids."
Labels: satire, topical jokes