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EXT. L.A. - AS SCENE IN HOLLYWOOD
You've heard of Fantasy Baseball, this is Fantasy Screenwriting...
2008-09-14
EXT. I, Adaptation - TWILIGHT

INT. THERAPIST'S OFFICE - DAY

AN OFFICE PHONE on the desk, answers A CALL which leaves VOICE MAIL.

WOMAN (O.S.)
Dr. Graham, I'd like to schedule an emergency session.

LATER

A MAN AND WOMAN, a couple, sit a safe distance apart on a LOVE SEAT covered in TIGER SKIN FUR.

THE THERAPIST in a Sex in the City, Sarah Jessica Parker eat-your-heart-out, black, cocktail dress.

THERAPIST
I have about 30 minutes. I need to be at the Hollywood Bowl by 8pm. What's on your mind?

THERAPIST (V.O.)
We have a saying here in marriage counselling.

MAN
Shelly won't blow me anymore. If you love somebody, you go down on them. Everybody knows that.

THERAPIST (V.O.)
A blow job from your wife will cost you $100.

WOMAN
When Rick and I were first married, he licked my Brazilian waxing at least twice a day. I got that landing strip for his benefit -- now, it's like he has a fear of flying!

MAN (V.O.)
Flying is fine, landing is nausea...

MAN
As an air traffic controller, anything that reminds me of work is just a turn-off. You can understand that!

THERAPIST (V.O.)
A blow job from a hooker will cost you $300.

WOMAN
I know men -- and it only means one thing.

THE THERAPIST nods gravely.

WOMAN
He's getting it somewhere else.

THERAPIST
Rick, would you like to respond to that?

RICK pulls out a PINK INDEX CARD.

MAN
I'd like to play my Pink Card and schedule a 30 minute private session with you.

THERAPIST (V.O.)
A blow job from your therapist costs $150.00 an hour...

WOMAN
Finally! Progress.

LATER

THE WOMAN is gone. THE THERAPIST is sprawled on the TIGER SKIN LOVE SEAT, her legs splayed wide.

THERAPIST (V.O.)
...but your wife will insist on paying the bill.

THE MAN'S LOWER BODY is visible, HIS HEAD DEEP UNDER the PARTY DRESS.

By : Screenwriter I, Adaptation

 

 
 
 

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