EXT. L.A. - AS SCENE IN HOLLYWOOD
You've heard of Fantasy Baseball, this is Fantasy Screenwriting...
2008-09-24
EXT. CLOSURE - TWILIGHT

David Mamet said the same thing about screenplays. The neurosis of the viewer brings it's own closure to the words on the page. In essence, it sees it's own duck.

Click on the image to the right to see the Japanese Professor that designed it.

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By : Screenwriter CLOSURE 0 comments

2008-09-14
EXT. I, Adaptation - TWILIGHT

INT. THERAPIST'S OFFICE - DAY

AN OFFICE PHONE on the desk, answers A CALL which leaves VOICE MAIL.

WOMAN (O.S.)
Dr. Graham, I'd like to schedule an emergency session.

LATER

A MAN AND WOMAN, a couple, sit a safe distance apart on a LOVE SEAT covered in TIGER SKIN FUR.

THE THERAPIST in a Sex in the City, Sarah Jessica Parker eat-your-heart-out, black, cocktail dress.

THERAPIST
I have about 30 minutes. I need to be at the Hollywood Bowl by 8pm. What's on your mind?

THERAPIST (V.O.)
We have a saying here in marriage counselling.

MAN
Shelly won't blow me anymore. If you love somebody, you go down on them. Everybody knows that.

THERAPIST (V.O.)
A blow job from your wife will cost you $100.

WOMAN
When Rick and I were first married, he licked my Brazilian waxing at least twice a day. I got that landing strip for his benefit -- now, it's like he has a fear of flying!

MAN (V.O.)
Flying is fine, landing is nausea...

MAN
As an air traffic controller, anything that reminds me of work is just a turn-off. You can understand that!

THERAPIST (V.O.)
A blow job from a hooker will cost you $300.

WOMAN
I know men -- and it only means one thing.

THE THERAPIST nods gravely.

WOMAN
He's getting it somewhere else.

THERAPIST
Rick, would you like to respond to that?

RICK pulls out a PINK INDEX CARD.

MAN
I'd like to play my Pink Card and schedule a 30 minute private session with you.

THERAPIST (V.O.)
A blow job from your therapist costs $150.00 an hour...

WOMAN
Finally! Progress.

LATER

THE WOMAN is gone. THE THERAPIST is sprawled on the TIGER SKIN LOVE SEAT, her legs splayed wide.

THERAPIST (V.O.)
...but your wife will insist on paying the bill.

THE MAN'S LOWER BODY is visible, HIS HEAD DEEP UNDER the PARTY DRESS.

By : Screenwriter I, Adaptation 0 comments

2008-09-13
EXT. Taking Notes, A Lesser Known Technique - TWILIGHT

As a rule, I take notes from just about anyone. But ultimately, the best source of notes are the gatekeepers. Readers, managers, secretaries, PAs. Whoever is turning the pages looking for the magic slugline that will catapult their talent toward the brass ring. The problem is, they don't send you (me) notes. They send your notes along, but naturally, don't cc you with their commentary. The good news is -- it doesn't matter. It all comes down to an under-appreciated skill I like to call technical remote viewing.

Way back in the mid-nineties, some friends and I were doing our best to recreate the conditions at Andy Warhol's factory. Once we even had a nutjob who walked through our loft brandishing a loaded firearm, threatening to shoot whoever looked at him wrong. Or maybe it was something else. But I digress.

The point is, we had a big loft and a lot of weirdos wandering through. One day, a cute little weirdo with a shag-top wandered into my life through the door to that loft. I can't think of her name at this moment, but what I do remember is that she had some unusual skills and education, the least of which was that she had studied technical remote viewing.

Up until that moment, I hadn't heard of it, but naturally, it piqued my interest. Or maybe it was the way she wore her Ray-Bans. Does it matter? In any event, using Lennon's (related) technique from Dig a Pony, I syndicated her rowing technique.
I pick a moon dog
Well, you can radiate everything you are
yes, you can radiate everything you are
Oh now!

I roll a stoney
Well, you can imitate everyone you know
Yes, you can imitate everyone you know

I guess, in retrospect, I helped her switch boyfriends and she taught me RV. Last I heard, she and her Johnny Depp lookalike were restaging Easy Rider in the mountains of San Luis Obisbo. I wish them well.

RV comes in handy for taking notes on scripts. I send my scripts to the coolest people I can think of, and take notes via TRV. It's better than coverage because ink and symbols are an impoverished pidgin language for the mind's eye.

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By : Screenwriter Taking Notes, A Lesser Known Technique 0 comments

2008-09-10
EXT. Picking up the Pilot - TWILIGHT

It's pilot and season premiere time. Some disappointments for sure. Prison Break is one of them. I think moving the show to L.A. was probably great for the budget, but the midwest prison from S1 was a key character in the story. Does nobody but me think the success of LOST (a favorite of mine) is partly due to shooting in Hawaii? I guess the counter-example is Alias (not a favorite of mine). Speaking of JJ & friends, Fringe did not fail to disappoint. Entourage remains a great educational program. But not on the subject of romancing the ladies. For that we need to defer to Neil Strauss. I'm glad they're winding up The Shield. True Blood has some great acting and directing, but the premise is thin.

Looking forward to Californication, and am totally getting sucked into Stargate: Atlantis, after having watched the first season on DVD. Maybe I'm infected with the Goa'uld. God knows I am surrounded by Wraith. Glad to see somebody is milking the space vampire concept for all it is worth.

On the reading front, I recently read the scripts for Wanted and Next (Philip K Dick adaptation). I have a SciFi spec out and reading those scripts gave me, if nothing else, increased confidence in my own writing. Most of the great screen moments in the Wanted blockbuster were not in the original script.

By : Screenwriter Picking up the Pilot 0 comments

 

 
 
 

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